“But you’re not fat, don’t say that,” he responded.
Tell that to the hips that got caught in a turnstile yesterday and everyday that she forgets to turn sideways. Tell that to the stores that stop at size 12 (or size 10 if she wanted to look her age). Tell that to the small woman rolling her eyes beside me on the subway as my booty spills over into her seat. Tell that to the holes my inner thighs have rubbed into every pair of jeans I own. Tell that to the rolls on my back & the crevices in my ass.
Tell that to the silence at the end of your sentence that should say “because fat people are ugly, because if I think you’re attractive you can’t be fat because I’m saving fat to degrade a woman two sizes smaller than you but with a flatter chest & a spare tire. Because you’re not fat is a compliment even when it’s not true because what I’m really saying is you don’t repulse me the way fat people are supposed to repulse me. Because I get final say on your body, not you & I’m giving you a pass for the same dimpled ass I laughed at on another woman yesterday because your waistline is smaller than hers and a normal woman would just be happy with that.”” — - On Being A Fat Girl (via marfmellow)
I’ve been to the forums. I’ve interacted with the people. I’ve tried to give the men’s rights movement a chance. Unfortunately the people involved are much more concerned about derailing and dismantling feminism than actually solving any of those issues. As if they can’t make any progress until feminism is destroyed.
"Family court is unfair and biased towards women. Those darn feminists!" Except that the majority of lawmakers are old white men. From federal to state legislature… they created all the rules, regulations, and laws that govern the courts. They think they are doing men a favor. "Raising children is a woman’s job. Just send a check every month and let them take care of the ankle biters." And the whole family court system is pretty dysfunctional. It isn’t a utopia for mothers that grants their every wish. Mothers and fathers both have the same enemy. They have to influence the same lawmakers to improve the system.
Male rape victims don’t get taken seriously. Again, most detectives are men. Most of the police leadership are men. The lawmakers are mostly men. So let’s blame feminism for not getting justice.
You really don’t think women care about male victims of abuse? Many feminists are mothers of sons. Sons who they love to no end. Of course they care. Of course they want the justice system to care about their sons. Which is why feminists want to dismantle the system that says that men are strong and women are weak. The system that says men cannot really be raped.
The problem lies in how MRAs react to feminism. They see people talking about women’s issues and their reaction is not one of empathy. It is always, “What about us? Bad stuff happens to us too.” Just like that fellow who saw women trying to talk about their hardships in a work environment. He pipes in and complains about not being able to wear shorts. And worse, he equates his issue with theirs even though they aren’t even close in magnitude. Yes, it was a ridiculous example, but it perfectly demonstrated this common reaction men seem to have. When someone is talking about their problems, the proper response is not to reply with a list of your problems. No one is saying that your problems don’t matter, just that this isn’t the proper time to talk about them.
If the MRAs continue to derail every conversation by making it about them, they are not going to be taken seriously. There is plenty of space to talk about men’s issues. They don’t need to invade the space of feminism to be heard. And if they keep thinking women are the enemy, even though women are actually trying to make progress with some of the very issues you mentioned, they aren’t going to have much luck actually solving anything they care about.