Ok, I love your blog. But so does my sister. The problem is that your blog is making my sister want a hedgehog. She is absolutely determined to get a hedgehog no matter how much I tell her its a bad idea. She knows nothing about taking care of a hedge hog and isn't responsible enough to take care of one. Not to mention she has a dog that would love to hunt hedgehogs. For the poor hedgehogs sake please give me something I can tell her to convince her not to get a hedgehog.
I suppose your sister is following this blog then? You could let her read this. Or just give her the links in this post.
Dear Anons sister,
hedgehogs are great pets. They are, however, not for everyone. Some pets look very cute but aren’t suitable for every person. A hedgehog might be great for you, but it could be a huge let down as well. As with all pets you need to be prepared. If you decide to go on and get a hedgehog, which is something neither your sister nor I can really stop you from, you should do your research first. A pet is a living creature and not a toy. Never buy a hedgehog without doing research. I highly encourage you to read my FAQ as well as this free e-book; the book has everything a new owner needs to know. It is a must read for every hedgehog owner. Take a look at Hedgehog Central Forums. There is a lot of information on there as well, and a lot of owners you can talk to. There is a very useful thread on there about behaviour expectations. Your sister is rightfully concerned. A hedgehog (or any other pet) isn’t something you should think lightly about.
* hedgehogs take up a lot of your time * it can take months before they warm up to you (with daily handling) * they need a heated environment to live in and require more specialized care * they are nocturnal so you won’t see your hedgehog at all unless you wake him up
And since hedgehogs are prey animals and easily scared (and stressed), it is not very wise to keep them in a household with animals who like hunting small prey. Even though they have quills a dog can still hurt a hedgehog. WARNING VERY GRAPHIC IMAGES!! dog bite and another. A dog can kill a hedgehog.
There are a lot of people who are following this blog and enjoying my hedgehogs. For a lot of them my hedgehogs would be more fun than actually owning a real one. Not everyone has the patience to bond with a hedgehog, or the time to take care of one. People who go on this blog see cute hedgehogs. Not the poopy wheels, dirty cages, money I spend on them or the hours of bonding before I can actually pet them without them putting up their quills etc.
I can not stop you from buying a hedgehog. I can only try to give you some advice and ask you to please, please do your research and think about this twice. Don’t buy a hedgehog just because they look cute.
The thing is: when someone calls you too skinny, that hurts. It’s inappropriate, hurtful, and makes you self conscious. But at the end of the day, you pick up a magazine, you turn on the TV, you go on the internet on a gossip site - what do you see? Women who look like you. Women who have a body that recalls yours, women who are considered the standards of beauty to which all must follow to be considered beautiful. You go to a store, and odds are you can find clothes that are in your size. Odds are you don’t have go to stores dedicated to people your size, clothes that might not be as cute and are definitively more expensive.
When you’re fat, not only does it hurt, but society just confirms it day after day. You flip on TV, you read a magazine, and there are no women in your size. Nobody with a body like yours, nobody modeling clothes or being called gorgeous. You go to a store, and you can’t find clothes that fit you - and even if you do find things in larger sizes, they still don’t LOOK right, don’t fit right, cause they were designed for thinner girls in mind, and making these clothes in larger sizes doesn’t mean it’s going to look good on your body. You’re told you’re ugly by a piece of shit and basically the world you live in says back, well, yeah, that’s true.
That’s the difference. No, people making comments about your body are ALWAYS unwelcome and gross, but a thin person and fat person still live in the same society that caters and upholds thinness as a standard of beauty. That doesn’t change, and that’s why it’s not the same.
”—On why skinnyshaming isn’t the same as fatshaming (via madame-mayor)
A List of “Men’s Rights” Issues That Feminism Is Already Working On
Feminists do not want you to lose custody of your children. The assumption that women are naturally better caregivers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not like commercials in which bumbling dads mess up the laundry and competent wives have to bustle in and fix it. The assumption that women are naturally better housekeepers is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to make alimony payments. Alimony is set up to combat the fact that women have been historically expected to prioritize domestic duties over professional goals, thus minimizing their earning potential if their “traditional” marriages end. The assumption that wives should make babies instead of money is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to get raped in prison. Permissiveness and jokes about prison rape are part of rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want anyone to be falsely accused of rape. False rape accusations discredit rape victims, which reinforces rape culture, which is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be lonely and we do not hate “nice guys.” The idea that certain people are inherently more valuable than other people because of superficial physical attributes is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to have to pay for dinner. We want the opportunity to achieve financial success on par with men in any field we choose (and are qualified for), and the fact that we currently don’t is part of patriarchy. The idea that men should coddle and provide for women, and/or purchase their affections in romantic contexts, is condescending and damaging and part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be maimed or killed in industrial accidents, or toil in coal mines while we do cushy secretarial work and various yarn-themed activities. The fact that women have long been shut out of dangerous industrial jobs (by men, by the way) is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to commit suicide. Any pressures and expectations that lower the quality of life of either gender are part of patriarchy. The fact that depression is characterized as an effeminate weakness, making men less likely to seek treatment, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be viewed with suspicion when you take your child to the park (men frequently insist that this is a serious issue, so I will take them at their word). The assumption that men are insatiable sexual animals, combined with the idea that it’s unnatural for men to care for children, is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want you to be drafted and then die in a war while we stay home and iron stuff. The idea that women are too weak to fight or too delicate to function in a military setting is part of patriarchy.
Feminists do not want women to escape prosecution on legitimate domestic violence charges, nor do we want men to be ridiculed for being raped or abused. The idea that women are naturally gentle and compliant and that victimhood is inherently feminine is part of patriarchy.
Feminists hate patriarchy. We do not hate you.
If you really care about those issues as passionately as you say you do, you should be thanking feminists, because feminism is a social movement actively dedicated to dismantling every single one of them. The fact that you blame feminists—your allies—for problems against which they have been struggling for decades suggests that supporting men isn’t nearly as important to you as resenting women. We care about your problems a lot. Could you try caring about ours?
Writers note: these are some things I have learned after living for more than two and a half decades as a fat person. This list isn’t, by any means, comprehensive or relevant to every fat person. Some things might be relevant to people who aren’t fat. That’s great. But don’t forget that this is by and for fat folks. Some things I am still trying to learn. Some things you probably already know but it just helps to have someone else say them. I hope you find use in some of these things. I hope you can teach me more.
1) Never justify your body to anyone ever again. You have a right to exist. Period. Your humanity needs no qualifiers.
2) Being fat in this world is difficult. Sometimes it can be sad. It will make you strong. But let yourself feel your feelings. When you are sad or happy or hungry or angry or full or exhausted or frustrated or exhilarated or loved or in love. Feel them. They are all valid. You are not a burden.
3) Look at yourself. Make eye contact with you in the mirror. Look at yourself. From the side. From the back. Naked. Sitting down. Standing up. Lying down. Legs over your head. Know yourself from all sides and try to remember they’re all valid. All your stretch marks and scars and cellulite and acne and moles, discoloring and rough skin.
4) Re-learn how to take up space. Fat people— especially fat women— are taught to be ashamed and embarrassed of the space we take up. Fuck. That. Don’t be ashamed to assert your needs. If the booth at that restaurant is too small your abundance don’t be afraid to ask for a table. If that chair breaks under your brilliance… well, fuck that chair. That chair sucked.
5) Make fat friends. Stop hanging out with people who make you feel bad about yourself, either intentionally or not. Don’t hang out with people who shame you for eating what you want. Who want to take you shopping but only go to stores who don’t carry your size. Who treat your fatness and your beauty as if they are mutually exclusive. Who take you to bars where you never get hit on and pretend not to notice. Who diminish your feelings because the fucked up asshole cashier just did some fucked up subtle microaggressive fat hating bullshit and try to make you think it was about something else. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
6) Listen to your body. Be aware of its limits and don’t be ashamed of them. Just because your body works differently than others doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Stairs are bullshit. Everyone knows it and if they don’t they’re lying to themselves. It’s ok to take the elevator. Unbutton your pants when you need to. Even in public. Pants are a social construct.
7) Walk with your head high. Feast on the insecurities of those who would hate you for it.
8) If you’re into sex and/or dating: have sex with and/or date other fat folks. Finding beauty and eroticism in another fat body is a wonderful way to find it in yours. Don’t hold the attention of thin folks as a higher form of validation than from fat people. Plus, fat sex is just hot.
9) Reclaim your body. Take ownership of it. Wear sleeveless shirts, short skirts, bright colors, crop tops. Tattoo it. Pierce it. BE in your body. Make it your own. Fuck everything you thought your fatness prevented you from doing.
10) Rethink anything negative anyone ever told you about your body. Know that problems with your body are not inherent to your body but a result of a world that wasn’t built for you. Know that this isn’t your fault. Your body is exactly how it was meant to be. Humanmade structures weren’t meant to contain natural beauty.
Brother Leonard sings me to a place where the raw emotions jostle for position with the baser elements of the reality of life….and yet this is strangely comforting!
A fine moment on a Tuesday night as run through the full cycle of my years in memories spilled out to his soft voice enticing more more more….."With it’s very own breath of brandy and death, dragging it’s tail in the sea…"
Now in Vienna there are ten pretty women There’s a shoulder where Death comes to cry There’s a lobby with nine hundred windows There’s a tree where the doves go to die There’s a piece that was torn from the morning, And it hangs in the Gallery of Frost
Take this waltz, take this waltz Take this waltz with the clamp on its jaws I want you, I want you, I want you On a chair with a dead magazine In the cave at the tip of the lilly, In some hallway where love’s never been On a bed where the moon has been sweating, In a cry filled with footsteps and sand
Take this waltz, take this waltz Take its broken waist in your hand
This waltz, this waltz, this waltz, this waltz With its very own breath of brandy and Death Dragging its tail in the sea
There’s a concert hall in Vienna Where your mouth had a thousand reviews There’s a bar where the boys have stopped talking They’ve been sentenced to death by the blues Ah, but who is it climbs to your picture With a garland of freshly cut tears?
Take this waltz, take this waltz Take this waltz, it’s been dying for years
There’s an attic where children are playing, Where I’ve got to lie down with you soon, In a dream of Hungarian lanterns, In the mist of some sweet afternoon And I’ll see what you’ve chained to your sorrow, All your sheep and your lillies of snow
Take this waltz, take this waltz With its “I’ll never forget you, you know!”
This waltz, this waltz, this waltz, this waltz With its very own breath of brandy and Death Dragging its tail in the sea
And I’ll dance with you in Vienna I’ll be wearing a river’s disguise The hyacinth wild on my shoulder, My mouth on the dew of your thighs And I’ll bury my soul in a scrapbook, With the photographs there, and the moss And I’ll yield to the flood of your beauty My cheap violin and my cross And you’ll carry me down on your dancing To the pools that you lift on your wrist O my love, o my love Take this waltz, take this waltz It’s yours now. It’s all that there is
Men, are you worried for your own safety because misandry?
You need to accept that misandry happens in the real world and take some precautions.
Take a self defense class, they’re only a couple hundred dollars a month.
Don’t go out after dark unless you have a woman to chaperone you. Misandrists are less likely to attack if they see you are with another woman.
Don’t wear anything too douchey. If you’re wearing a fedora or a sexist t-shirt, etc. you’re pretty much asking to get attacked. Misandrists can’t control themselves when they see a man in a fedora, their instincts kick in and before they know it they have a dead male corpse in their hands. Just be a good boy and don’t tempt them, okay?
Don’t ever invite a woman into your home. Misandrists will interpret this as you consenting to physical violence.
Drinking increases your risk of being attacked by a misandrist. They target drunk men because their inhibitions are lowered.
Never leave your drink unattended. Misandrists are notorious for poisoning men at parties and bars.
If a misandrist does attack you, be quiet and just let them finish or you might anger them further and you are liable to get murdered instead of just mutilated. But also, be sure to give up a good fight because a lot of men say they don’t want to be attacked by misandrists but deep down, they really like it.
And remember, accusing a woman of abusive misandry is worse than being abused by a misandrist. So before you make accusations, make sure it wasn’t all just a silly misunderstanding.